


Freedom Bound

by dionysus_bound



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, Gen, Mind Control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 16:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dionysus_bound/pseuds/dionysus_bound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The first time, it was like icy fingers slipping into his skull. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freedom Bound

**Author's Note:**

> written for my trope_bingo card

The first time, it was like icy fingers slipping into his skull. A cool, ghosting shadow, words that weren’t his own escaping his lips without thought.

In the bowels of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s labyrinthine secret lair, he’d shrugged it off as reaction to seeing the Tesseract for the first time.

The second time, those same cold, invisible fingers wrapped around his heart, freezing his mind and soul from the inside out before he could even think about struggling against it.

“Freedom is life’s great lie.” Loki’s words became a continuous refrain inside of him, a cycling chant blocking out everything but the will of the god.

After that moment, he felt free.

Free from fear. The wild ride through the tunnel, escaping an imploding base and S.H.I.E.L.D.’s pursuit hadn’t raised his pulse a single beat.

Later, he had been free from distractions. Free to focus on the science without diversions from real live intruding. Free to focus on the wealth of knowledge pouring into him from Tesseract. Free to focus on the truths it showed him.

There had been no worries and disruptions of day-to-day living. Resources and manpower were unlimited. He didn’t need to think about anything but the work.

The cold had sunk deeper, into his bones and the soft, blue glow had whispered promises of wonder.

He was free. Free of responsibility. Free of the need to examine his actions. Of the need to consider repercussions. The future. Anyone or anything but the Tesseract and Loki’s promise.

“Freedom is a lie. Once you accept that in your heart, you will know peace.”

Peace was a cool rush braided into every fiber of his being, a twisted cloak insulating him from the world. From his heart. From himself.

When that peace left, it rushed out in a flood. Sliding away from his eyes, his mind, his heart. He came back to himself on top of Stark Tower.

Below him, the city was crumbling under the assault of the Chitauri. Above him, the sky was ripped open. A tortured, twisting wound he’d helped create.

His heart-pounded hard and fast in his ears, terror-filled adrenaline slipping into the empty places. There was too much to look at, too much to see. Monsters from his worst nightmares spiraling through the air, sinister and snakelike, destroying everything in their path. All around him, buildings collapsed and the sound of explosions rocked him. While he watched the tiny, scurrying people below, he couldn’t help imagining the faces of everyone he knew, everyone he loved, crushed in the panicked mob.

For a moment, staring down at the destruction wrought with something he’d built, he wanted it back. Wanted the release of oblivion back. The freedom from the soul crushing sense of responsibility.

Freedom to forget.

Forget he wasn’t strong enough. That he was too weak to stop it, back in the beginning, when the icy fingers first burrowed their way into his brain.

Then he saw the scepter. And Natasha arrived like an avenging angel.

When she spoke to him, he remembered. Remembered the fail-safe he’d built in, never directly thinking about what he was doing. The way he’d slipped it in the same as Loki had slipped into him.

Freedom sometimes hid even in the darkest, bleakest corner. And in the coldest, trapped hearts.


End file.
